Ahhh.. having a lot of weird dreams nowadays. A lot A lot.. Not my fault also. Haha..
Like the first one, I dreamt that my ____ is dead. Second, dreamt that I was attached to this guy.. Third, dreamt that I wore my pyjamas to church! So on and so forth. Hahaha I donno to laugh or to cry..

Oh, and nowadays I've been walking to and from school everyday. Pretty enjoy those journey though it's only me and God. Or maybe that's the reason why I like it. Sometimes socialising can be so draining u know.. At least for me. I'm not the very people-person at least for now.. Some should know why.. LOL~ But doesn't mean I don't like people to be around me just that I need some time to be with myself sometimes. =) Seriously I can't wait to get my butt off JJ. I want back my havoc life!!! After A lvl I'm going to revenge LOL~ At this instance, my mind has already involuntarily brainstormed a list of to-do things. Hmmm... loOks pretty interesting! =)

Wah love seems to be in the air! =) I thought I can literally feel it hehehe.. And no, I'm not in love with anyone, nor is anyone in love with me hehe.. But people around me are/were so loving!! =) *so loved* Esp my church friends.. Guess we have all experienced the genuine, unconditional love of God to be able to exude it out to each other as well. =) Well, of course, those who are skeptical about this would think that we are all hypocrites. Let them be, we don't lose out anyway. =) We had our fair share of critics and I guess we're immuned to them, so stay cool and calm.. don't panick. =)

Service was great today! All of us witnessed the healing power of God in the place. People were healed of long-term illnesses like a bent spine as well as short-term ones like a sunburn! =)
Nothing is too hard for our God ya?? =)

"What do you want Me to do for you?"
- Jesus

Had a combined sub-zone meeting today.. wah wah.. it was good la. Fun. So many games.. haha. and mooncakes.. Aiya one thing about me is I laugh/ed too much.. Especially during the drama la.. I find everything so amusing la! lol~ and you know la, when i get really high, I get really out of my mind. quite rythm (is that how u spell it?? rythme? raim? LOL~) ah nvm. Oh, a few of us played lanterns and sparklers (correct spelling? yes right.. but when we pronounce it sounds like sparkeler right? okie.. I was just wondering.. hehe..) Wah.. brought back a lot of memories. I used to look so forward towards lantern festival!! So can play with candles.. =) I was just asking the rest "why do people like to see things being burnt?" hahaha.. For me I think fire is so mysterious.. It can give you light and heat but can also destroy things.. And the sight of a completely whole thing being reduced to ashes at such an instant is (hmm i shouldn't say amazing right? that'd sound so sadistic. haha..) captivating. Okie nvm talking rubbish.. (no pun intended) haha..

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Sian someone just labelled me something offensive. But not on purpose la. but still.. I didn't hesitate to tell him off. *Note: Before labelling someone, check the meaning of the label.
If not, you're just insulting your own intelligence. Of course I can be a very nice person, =) But I'm not an angel, I have a limit too. Once anyone exceeds that, no I won't blast at that person, that's a total waste of everything. I will do what I think is most wise and just ignore him/her. Full stop. Occasionally I may just smile reluctantly but all can tell it's a fake one. And no, i'm not someone who hides my emotions... I think my facial expressions tell a lot. Like today, yusu had a taste of my pms LOL~ and I thot it was funny when leeling told me I forgot to zip my skirt! LOL~ She said it in a not very soft voice la. lol~ even the guys heard it LOL~.. so funny.. Forgot to zip it ytd or the day before as well! YuSu told me silently LOL~ From this you can tell i'm not someone who is so conscious about how people think of me.. and seriously i don't really care.. haha.. but i don't think i'm that bad la hor? HOpefully la. hahaha.. And of course I'm still learning and growing to be more like Christ. If you have sth unhappy about me just tell me, I wanna learn from it too.. =)

I dont know if everyone is depressed or stressed.. But today seemed like a chocolatey day.. Even the guys in my class were munching on chocolates.. Hmmmmmmm.. =)

Nothing much to say today leh. Exam fever now but I still can't tuned in to the mood yet.. HOW! Haha.. Talking about tuning in.. Class 95 rocks! lol~ I listen to it every night till I hear a not-so-nice song then I will she de to sleep.. *hint* Can dedicate songs to me if you want lol~ No pressure ah but I will love you more haha..

Could this be love? *shrugs*

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Crazy me. Just went on a chocolate craze.. Bought 8.85 bucks worth of chocolates.. And they are all not for me! Haha.. I don't even she de splurge on myself like that.. Haha but the shopping experience was fun la. Haha.. It was a reminiscence on what happened last yr in Medan. We went hysterical when we entered the supermarket.. Everything was so cheap! To the extent whereby we didn't need to think of the price and just grabbed whatever we want haha.. Highness. HAHA.. And of course my trolley was filled with what else but CHOCOLATES.. loads and loads of them.. Now thinking about it, I wished I had the guts to grab more hehe.. Must train up KaiLiang now. LOL~ Oh ya, that day I spent around 90000Rupiah and I fumbled with the cash haha.. There was once I gave the cashier a 5000 note when my goods cost 50000.. LOL~ We looked at each other. I didn't know why she was looking at me but thankfully my Medan friend came to the rescue.. LOL~ Seldom see so many zeros in my whole life.. haha.. But other than food, there are nothing much to shop around.. The wet market was literally wet and dirty and when it rained, it became a 'muddy market'. lol.. But it was quite thrilling to walk through the market. There were vehicles moving about like it was not squeezy enough.. haha.. And they killed the kampong chicken on the spot upon ordering! Ah, that was memorable. =) A rare sight to behold. There was one night!! My favourite!!! At first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw a streak of light in the sky. "No, it can't be a shooting star.. siao." So I shook off the silly fantasy. But deep inside I secretly hope it was hehe.. So I cfmed with another friend and she said 'ya! I also saw!' Okie so for the rest of the night, a group of us stayed up and just stared at the sky! Haha.. It was really an unforgetable night.. We laid outside our rooms at the so-called backyard and witnessed the most amazing scene! The stars kept shooting around! And I got so high! Whenever I saw one, I would squeal and point and get uptight. LOL~ And I did that for 11 times! LOL~ It brings me to wonder why beautiful things come and go like a lightning. Or maybe if they stay a little longer, we would take them for granted? So they're smart. They keep us in suspense.. And keep us yearning for more..

An Iceberg! I think the picture is so beautifully taken. Ah.. Breathtaking. =) But most of the time we can only see its tip. And that is also what caused the sinking of the seemingly "Unsinkable Titanic".

Most of the time we ignore life's trivial problems and until the day we realised they actually exist, it is too late. They have become so big, we can't handle. Therefore, it is so important to be sensitive to what you are getting yourself into.. Back to the picture, the sea is vast. If there is an iceberg in your way, the most common sense thing to do is to navigate away from it right? It's like so "duh?" Though the tip may be small, but the sea area is so big! Just turn away la? Full stop, no worries. Same for us, if you know doing something will eventually do you no good, then do something else! We must be more flexible sometimes.. There are so many options in life. Choose wisely. This is a reminder to myself too. I must admit I succumb to my flesh at times, doing things I know I shouldn't do and not doing things I ought to. Only to end up adding to my already sufficient problems. And again, I pray to have more wisdom.

I just watched a documentary on the Discovery Channel about life before birth. That is, life of a fetus in the womb. I was so amazed at the complexity of God's mind. Scientists hate to admit that there are things which can't be proven by science. They refuse to acknowledge God as our Creator. You and me, as we often hear, are all results of a miracle. And what does 'miracle' mean?
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Definition of 'Miracle' by Dictionary.com
An event that appears inexplicable by the laws of nature and so is held to be supernatural in origin or an act of God: “Miracles are spontaneous, they cannot be summoned, but come of themselves” (Katherine Anne Porter).
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With reference to my Bio notes on Cell and Nuclear Division, it is written "The Cell Theory states that all new cells are derived from pre-existing cells." So, where does these pre-existing cells appear from? If anyone has the answer, please enlighten me... =)

P.S: While searching for the miracle-in-making picture above, I also sadly came across a few tragic halts to the miracle-in-making processes. In life there are so many important decisions to make, I pray to be wiser..

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testing..

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When our eyes met
A snapshot was taken
in the recesses of my mind
The moment freezed like I gladly wanted it to

Butterflies fluttered excitedly in my stomach
I'm not sure if I liked that
Words were choked
It was hard to even breathe

What are my hormones up to this time?
Hmmmmmmmmmm...

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Felt like rollerblading just now so wheeeeee off I went at around 8pm. In a mere 25-30 minutes SO many incidents happened!!! (Note: it's "incidents" not "accidents" haha)
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No 1: I whee-ed past this 50+ yr old woman who was walking. It so happened she was walking
on the metal-covered drain and when I whee-ed past, the cover "grumbled" and she had a
shock! LOL!! She mumbled "Aiyo shock ah." LOL~ I said "sorry!" and whee-ed away.
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No 2: Around 2 minutes after that, I took a rollercoaster ride but I think it was worse. I whee-ed down a long slope which was kinda steep for wheels. I tried to slow down by swerving left

and right to create more resistence but around 1/4 down the slope there was a bicycle behind me. So I kind of panicked. The path wasn't very wide, just the 'normal' ones around, with a few motorcycles parking by

the sides which made it even slimmer. So if I continued swerving, the bicycle would bang

into me. So the only thing I could do was to whee down. So fast. My adrenaline was

splashing out. It was so thrilling.. I would enjoy it IF ONLY there wasn't anyone in front of

me. But unfortunately, there was a woman walking in front. So it was like I'm trapped in

between a bicycle and a woman. (Of all times..) One thing about rollerblades (or rather

my rollerblades) is that the brake is unreliable. It's no better if I remove it. So I went

down the slope with no brake, no safety guards. So the next best thing to do was to shout

"Excuse me!" to the woman in front. =) Phew~ Thank God nothing happened and I

whee-ed away with a heave of relief. But it could turn out disastrous.

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No 3: I was on my way home at the void deck. Then suddenly this motorcycle appeared
out of a bent which was hidden from my view and zoomed past me. If I was to whee-ed
like 1 or 2 seconds faster, it would bang me painfully.
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woo.. ya that was it. My very thrilling night.

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Know what? My last entry just vanished into the World Wide Web. This is the problem with technology.. Nothing beats the trustworthy pen and paper.. Haha.. Okie, Sally will go "NOoo! You can't use 'nothing'! It is too extreme! Class, I'm not sure if you really understand.." LOL~
Anyway, kind courtesy of me, I'm going to oblige to Henry's request to rewrite. Haha..
But I won't go into details..
I was saying.......
I had a fun fun day at Sentosa!! The sun was out smiling at us (me n cai) and that made us 2 very happy people in the world. =) We went to Siloso beach, crossed the bridge and stepped into another island (which is man-made). The waters were calm because it is sort of trapped in between the real and fake island. Sounds wrong.. haha.. Anyway, we went for a dip and woO we were very happy. We laid where the waves 'caressed' the shore and tanned. So we went tanning and dipping and tanning and dipping. =) And we were happy. We did that for 3 hours or so.. So Henry, don't say I will look the same. =) My back is red la. Bad. I hope the colour will retain till Sunday. Hahaha.. But judging from past experienceS, I am not that confident. We attempted to jog after that. 30 mins passed, and it was still an attempt. =) We ended up walking.. to nowhere actually. Haha.. but we passed by some dilapidated houses which were kind of freaky. I remember a group of us (sec 2 classmates) had a crazy idea to explore the house. Before we even stepped into a room, we heard a 'mess' of squeaky noises of the rats (xls, I hope you weren't one of them) and some burnt joss papers on the floor. We freaked out and ran out. =) End of story. Haha.. See, Sentosa is such a sentimental? place. I have so many fond memories there.. Which make it my number 1 (eee so cliche!) chill out haven. =)

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Looking forward to tmr!!! Not exactly the bio lecture but the trip to sentosa after that!!! Ya I know I've been there not long too long ago.. but it's a place I'll never ever get bored of!! Never! Especially with your close friends.. =) You can just go there and laze your day away and still enjoy every moment of it hehe..
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It's nice at night too! There was once my usher friend drove a group of us there at ard 10 plus.. we went up to one of the "twin towers".. The stars, although not many, were a sight to behold. It's super romantic I tell you.. haha.. Oh talking about usher, I don't miss ushering but I really miss the friends I made there.. Last yr a group of 4 of us went to Malaysia for a super short getaway!! It is one trip I will never forget!! We went around eating! Ya it's like what else can you do.. We were kind of tight financially too so we combined all our remaining little money and ate some more lol~ We had a crazy plan to travel to KL after eating.. It was so impromtu but I like! We reached there at ard 12 plus? Can't remember but everything was so dead. Ha.. Oh then we went to the twin towers (what do u call that?) WAH, they were so majestic! We stood in front of the towers and man did we felt so small. Bro Jeff if you're reading this, thanks so much for even wanting to bring this crazy girl out. You took such a big risk and responsibility! *evil grin*
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Looking forward to next year's backpacking with yeekiat! Don't care we must celebrate after surviving the 'A'gonising Level. =) Seriously I can't wait u know.. Can't wait for everything to be over and start another phase of my life.. I'm like so looking forward to my future haha.. Especially.. Ah nvm. =)

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Wah. I donno what is wrong with me.. I am so evil!!! LOL~ Can't stand it..
I didn't mean to shriek out the "EEE!" during GP today!! Forgive me!!! LOL~
But I was just freaked out by the wordiness of his paper!!! Involuntary shriek! LOL~
Think it is only right for me to apologise to him.. =)

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Didn't go school today hehe.. I think I have made a good decision! Cos they were released at 830.. Danced for half an hour?! Like that also fun.. I'd rather gain some beauty sleep hehehe.. Thot of going back to beloved fuhua but was.. too unmotivated. Hehe.. another nicer word for lazy. Yup so i went to meet with Bird at jp to study.. Erm, a little unfruitful la. Then we went to meet up the rest to go for a wake.. There were so much to discover about a wake. Kind of interesting to hear so many "rules" about what to do and what not and why.. Had a great time of fellowship with the girls.. Love 'em! As I am quite, or rather very, emotional, I thought Bro Tan was so strong. I donno how I would react to this situation if I was in his shoes.. Probably cry my eyes out i donno.. Ya no point crying some may say but it makes me feel better so who cares. But then again I seldom cry.. Only when I feel very helpless that's all.. But one advice: never ever indulge in self-pity. In addition to its uselessness, the situation can even get worse. I have learnt to guard my thoughts over the years, to replace every negative thought with a positive one. This has helped me tremendously. And as Pst Kong always say, "Your attitude determines your altitude." Must consistently remind myself that.. Ya.

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I walked to school this morning! =) Happiness. 20 mins or so hehe.. Try again tmr.. =)

Donno why so sleepy today.. slpt so much during maths and chem lect!!! Sigh.. For a moment I even had a dream. How terrible.. Poor yu su had to keep waking me up and up and up.. Thanks girl. But next time try other tactics k? I like your suggestion of using the tissue thing.. haha.. Nvm I give you another chance. LOL~ Hopefully there won't be a 'next time' la! haha.. Had a nice day la. Played tennis with her after school.. Tempted me.. actually wanna study.. HAHA..

Anyway, I was just thinking about this... Where there is love, there the people will be. Love is almost as important as food as a survival essential.. When you are hungry, almost everything tastes good. Similarly, when you are hungry for love, a little will not satisfy you and will left you searching for more. This is a time when you also need to guard your heart... To be conscious of your sources of love. They will either edify you or leave you feeling emptier. So, ya be wise. But then again, not all are saints.. People, they will let you down. Again and again. Me too, I have let my friends and family down.. They have been mad at me. Moral of the story? I can confidently say, ONLY God can offer us unconditional love. I am glad I have a love bank I can go to! A bank that never run dry and is always overflowing! Woo, I feel rich. HAha..

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Had a fun day! Fun day in church! YES, a day in the house of God is better than a thousand days in the world!!! A world where reality hits you so hard you could barely stand.. Quoting from a verse, "My flesh and my heart fail;But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." And what is portion? It is something that you choose above all other options. Yup.

I am weak, I admit. I don't even dare to face some truths at times.. let alone experience and go through them. They are daunting. I am afraid.. Remember, I am only a human..

But I choose to turn my eyes upon God for His magnificance looms over all my problems and the glory of His light will dim the circumstances around me. See, His presence alone is enough. What more when He begins to do mighty works?

And no, I am not religious. I am only having a intimate relationship with God. Something it can never be exchanged with.

oh ya, just did an extreme makeover for my blog.. a bit too cute for me right? lol.. still under construction though due to my "computeric" illiteracy. I feel it's so unsightful with the instructions, which is meant to be private, being put up. Haha.. Anyway, let's just ignore those parts.. =)

Err.. I don't even know where to begin. HAHA.. It feels weird now to blog.. *scratch head*

Erm.. I played tennis today? It was fun! Addicted.. still trying to lubricate my moves like what I am doing now with my blog.. Haha.. Err.. then what else? LOL.. maybe I should just stop here. I think writing this is worse than writing a GP essay.. cos for GP you will at least know how to go about writing.. erm. ya. so that's all for today! Thank you and have a nice day!

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I am falling

I don't know where I will land

But I know God is there to catch me

And lift me up

Take away my fear

I don't wanna be afraid

-

My faith

It is in God alone

My trust

It is in God alone

My hope

It is in God alone

My life

It is in God's hand

I surrender all to Him.

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wow. 4 days at the SIS.. broke my record. Went on thurday for choir practice with Hillsongs!! That was the day he came up and talked to me too hehe.. and i tell u, i was lost for words. Friday and Sat were the first 2 days of Festival of Praise whereby 120 churches in Singapore combined to praise n worship God together. It was also the launch of our church album "cross" and I had fun being the mobile seller hehe.. though i faced some weird people. Some were sacarstic and i didn't bother to entertain them so I walked away. My energy shouldnt be wasted on these people.. I think i'm so not a 'sales' person.. haha.. My mentality is that if you don't wanna buy then don't, I won't persistently convince u .. But i did convince a few and they actually bought it so it was rather encouraging hehe.. I prefer the 2nd day of FOP more maybe cos I got to sit with my cg. There was such an excitment in the air to want to praise God and I think we rocked the entire stadium. Am thankful to have alice and birdy to go home with at night, I always enjoy it. =) Sunday! It was our church 16th anniversary and we had our service at the indoor stadium again. =) IT WAS SO GREAT. The whole stadium was fully packed with people and that only consisted of our church! So proud of city harvest! =) God's presence was so tangible and I believe the new friends that joined us felt it too! =)

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And today! I went sentosa with alice. Thot there won't be any sun but it appeared! Much to our pleasure. =) Went kayaking at sunset bay. they increased the price! So ex now.. It cost 8 bucks just for a single kayak per hr.. we went nevertheless hehe.. training for next yr's extreme sports alice said. haha.. after that we went to the dragon trail and trekked the whole trial haha.. We were a bit adventurous so we went to explore the remnants of the war at Mount donno what.. quite eerie i thot.. but we had fun la! =)

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okie have to study now.

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I have a BIG problem.

I have cried out to God nights after nights.

He never fails to comfort me.

His love embraces me

It warms my heart.

In His secret place I will dwell

Where the world can't get me.

They can try

but they can't win.

For if my God is for me

Then who can be against me?

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Finally have a day for myself.. Thought I could stay home the whole day to rest but my dad he brought me to east coast and we had a walk.. then dinner.. then Mount Faber.. Feel that our relationship is so strong now.. I'm so proud of him, I think he's a strong man. Though I don't have everything, but I know he's done the best he knew how to. I know he loves us more than anything else on planet earth and that's more than enough.

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Know what! My dad just told me that he's bringing me to Johor to a beach resort! so cool can.. but it's on 7,8 n 9.. meaning I have to miss celebrating the church anniversary as well as.. national day? lol.. and my school's sports day.. Also, my common test falls on the same week.. zz.. HOW.. He told me I can bring along my friends too if i want.. SO COOL la.. BEACH leh! Haven't seen the sea for like ages.. Since the first week of june at sentosa.. So jing tui liang nan now haha.. most prob i'll bring along my work as well if i'm going.. pathetic right. But these few days I feel like the most blessed person in the world. My dad he just keeps giving me money and buying me stuff.. Like a BED, a comfy blanket, bedspread, a shirt, a Bible and more food. Haha.. I think God is just so amazing. I remember crying so much after I pleged.. And true enough, the law of harvest never fails. To be more precise, I can stand strong on God's promises without fear. And ya, I can't fathom how anyone can leave God after experiencing His unconditional love.

Tired day.. School was a bit more fun cos Ben brought his violin. I played it for the first time and it was fun! Kind of addictive.. but i don't really like the squeaky sound.. haha.. Well, went to a social service centre at tiong bahru with my class and another one.. The centre is catered mainly for the delinquent and troubled youths.. didn't turn out as i expected it to be but i came to know more about social work, sth which i'm very interested in. But it's a shame to see a girl who kept correcting the speaker's pronounciation while he was speaking. stuck up la. what's the big fuss about it.. words like 'cirque' and another french word.. and another girl asked questions like she was so suggestive of a fight. The speaker had to ask her with a hint of sacarsm, "Are you from the debate?" I could sympathize with the speaker.. and I admire his tolerance. It's no wonder people don't have a good impression of jc kids and I can't disagree too. The reason why I'm so interested in social work and counselling is because part of me have gone through the stuff that the people have gone through.. and I can more or less empathize with them. I have tasted the bitterness of hardship and I know I've grown and become stronger after that. I wanna make use of my experience to help them cope with theirs. Nothing in life is ever wasted ya. So it IRKS and disgust me when insensitive people make bad remarks about stuff like that... Well, let's see who has the last laugh.

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My mood was slammed after the trip there and I felt really tired.. But I garnered enough strength to go for Ravi's band performance at nyjc... It was good, sort of lifted me up a little.. NY, the school that jeered us during the girls' 'A' division volleyball match, looks rather like a CC to me. But it's a beautiful school. Like it. Oh ya and it's friday today! yay.

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School was not that bad today. =) Had quite a bit of fun laughing at my chem lecturer.. She kmows where to tickle our funny bones.. Her favourite words are "suarcture" (structure), "electron croud" (cloud) and today she introduced us something new, "involring" (involving) LOL~ Anyway, that aside..

Today i was studying in church at ard 6 plus when Bird called me and told me sth which I couldn't help but to exclaimed loudly.. She told me she saw RANDELL TAN at PS.. not only that.. he was with melody chan!! Sigh.. Forever her.. Let's wait for their confession. Sth uplifting, she told me he is better looking on screen.. hehe..

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Suprise no 2

While studying, I received blabla's business card.. And I was SHOCKED la! Who is that cheeky person who sent it.. But at the same time I was smiling to myself la. hahaha.. I thot it was henry cos only a few people know about it.. but he told me it wasnt him.. So i didn't bother cos i couldn't think of anyone else.. THEN..... after a while, Malcolm popped out behind me with his cheeky smile... Then i know liao lor. But how he came to know it, is still a mystery yet to be solved.. Erm there's nth much I can do with his no anyway. haha..

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School has never been so fun!!! Today I met diana after school to study.. Saw Malcolm then we decided to go to LT 5 to play the piano! haha.. At first there were only me and diana and the LT was kinda scary at the back where the piano was.. Then stupid Malcolm tried to scare us from behind.. OKie anyway, we had fun la! Like the whole LT belonged to us.. LOL~ Mal took the mike and SANG on the stage! SO LOUDLY!!! His voice was so high some more la.. LOL.. Then I tried to dance like a ballerina! SUPER FUNNY!! Diana was laughing there la.. haha.. All sort sort one.. LOL..

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And today!! Yang lent me his mp3player which can record songs!!! So fun can!!! Why didn't anyone tell me such thing exists! I'm going to stay home this whole week as much as i can to play with the recording haha.. One step nearer to producing my own album! lol~ Thanks yang! If I ever make it big.. I will give you a CD plus autograph haha! Like you want like that.. lol~

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Sometimes, it's just so hard to love the people around us. Is that a result of being self-centered? When we are only concerned about ourselves, we become myopic to the circumstances around us and thus do not look beyond our own comfort zone. Like what Pst Kong said, we should remove the "I" axles, where everything revolves around ourselves, and instead, replace it with a "God" axles, where we revolve around God. This way we can be able to look at things the way God looks at things.. Our hearts will begin to grow bigger.. We become more forgiving as trivial matters do not bother us much..

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Often, the world doesn't understand the things we do. They see us as a bunch of fanatics who have gone 'crazy' for God. It hurts me so.. Is God so hard to understand? He is just someone who loves us like no one else can.. Someone who gave His only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross so as to establish a relationship with us, the sinners, who don't even deserve the kind of love He gives.. Is this so hard to accept? God is constantly knocking on the doors of our hearts, waiting ever so patiently for us to open just a bit for Him to enter.. I remember a song that goes like this..

"Make my heart Your home

It's a place where You can come and stay

My heart's Your home

Live in me

You want only the best

For me

Come home"

Nice.. =) And like what Pst Kong always say "We have nothing to lose, but everything to gain." Amen!

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Couldn't sleep last night.. So I lay on the bed, with thousands of thoughts flashing through my mind.. Thoughts about God, friends, studies.. and erm.. something else hehe.. Out of a sudden I just had an inspiration to write a song. So I went to take my hp to type in the lyrics.

It goes like this..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hold on tight unto Jesus

He will never let you go

In the rough waves of your life

Know that He is in control

-

Jesus reigns above all storms

I don't have to be afraid

Look to Him and He'll be there

Beside me and through it all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your love

It comforts me

Your peace

It stills my heart

Your strength

It pushes me on

I'm honoured Lord

To be under Your arms

I'm amazed

At the wonderous works of Your hands

And...

I'm simply happy. =)

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haha Henry commented that my previous entry is like my own psalm hahaa.. YA!!! Praises from my heart! =) Today I was taught a few life lessons in school.. During PE, my teacher told us "Everyone can run, it's all in the mind." And during GP, Sally chua told us the meaning of a "challenge", it is a problem to be overcome. Both of these link me to our life journey. Life is a marathon in which everyone is involved. Some may be fast, some may be slow, and some may even stop at a point. The fact that it's a marathon indicates that you're not running alone. When you feel like you can't run anymore, your friends will be your supporters who cheer and encourage you on. But ultimately it's still your choice to want to fight on and continue the race. I think there is a greater battle up there (in your mind) than your circumstances. And once you can overcome that, your marathon will be a smoother and a more enjoyable one. Of course plus the supernatural strength from God, you can leap high above the tallest and seemingly invincible hurdle.

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*proudly declare* I'm in a relationship with my Beloved!! I just can't get enough of Him!!! I wake up every morning thinking about Him and all the good things He's done in my life!!! How blessed am I!! No one else can fill my heart like He can! My countenance radiates joy that's overflowing in my heart! And there is certainly none like Him in all the universe!!

I had such a great time singing and worshipping God in the choir!! Love every moment of it! =) And i'm so honoured to be able to sing for the next 2 services for the Arise and Build!! =)

Ya no "full stop" in this entry cos I'm so filled with excitement!!! =)

what a day. I woke up feeling nua.. I thought of God and thanked Him for this new day. My dad went to buy breakfast for me n my bro.. I couldnt wait anymore and ate 2 digestive biscuits.. Man, it tasted so good. 24 hrs without food was quite a challenge, but "overcomable". First period was maths but i couldn't stay awake! I was hoping the lemon Fisherman's lozenger could perform some kind of miracle, but it was in vain! I blamed the full breakfast for that.. haha.. Civics was great. Funny.. Our school invited the 1999 manhunt winner for a talk about social etiquette.. I thought he was charismatic. But not the type I'd go out with.. haha.. Too stressful. I must admit that sometimes I don't have xing xiang. Ya, just let loose! What for give yourself unnecessary worries.. Today, 30 june 2005, I broke my record of breaking an apparatus during chemistry practical. The practical was designed in such a way whereby they didn't give room for errors. If you had an anomalous result, gone case. You won't have enough time to finish gracefully.. Right from the start I did some no-common-sense mistakes and man.. demoralised. Nvm.. work harder for the next test.. I think failures + right attitude propell us to a higher level and in everything I do, I must excel! And of cos I can't do it without the strength of God.

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21

2nd day of school. And am still surviving well.. hehe.. Had PC to kick start the day.. man.. it was kind of stretching for me.. Running on the treadmill is so different from running on the track! And to think that after gymming.. 6 rounds are conquerable.. Worse still, i had a full breakfast earlier.. I could feel my semi-digested food piling up in my esophagus haha.. napfa coming up! gotta train for my 2.4.. haha.. must breakthrough this yr! =) Had a bio test straight after. I thought it was a relatively easy paper, thank God, but it was tricky. So, hope for the best. =)

*A love song, I sing to You.*

Wah first day of school today.. Better than i expected.. It was all lectures for me.. Had a new timetable which i think is better too. Earlier dismissals.. Bio test tmr, hope I can do better.. I believe life is all about looking forward and moving on.. Fell down? You stand up and stop whining..

I went to the airport after school to send jane off... I teared a little when she was about to leave at the departure gate... I walked past it earlier and i saw people hugging and saying their goodbyes.. things like that always make me wanna.. cry... Or maybe i'm a lil' emotional today.. ha.. kind of moody today.. maybe cos it's the first day of school? or more likely it's the bio test tmr.. or maybe it's becos.. i've done things i shouldn't have done..

*God, teach me to be more like You*

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Cell group meeting was really FANTASTIC!!!! From the games right up to the fellowship.. Praise was solid! There was an excitement in the air, you could literally feel it! Worship too! A lot of people spoke up in faith and really flowed.. edifying! =) At the end of the cg meeting.. We presented Jane her farewell videoclip.. man.. it was so touching.. and of cos jane cried! (that was our motive heeeheee) We prayed for her and gave her the farewell gifts.. took photos.. YA!! That's what a cg is about! LOVE for people! Through the good n bad times.. We're sending her off on monday.. Another crying session again! 3 yrs 7 mths in Melbourne! Hopefully i can have enough cash to fly over there for a visit! =)

Our cg is really happening!! After cg meeting at Darren's house, we went over to Jean's house to celebrate her bday!! =) 11 coursed buffet la! haha.. It's no wonder people have been commenting on my size.. LOL.. Okie, note taken. =)

School's starting! Blessing in disguise i should say.. How I wish I can lose weight by exercising my brain!! Ya okie, fat hope.. argh, the word 'fat'.. argh, again! Okie, it's not like I have a phobia for fats.. anyway, i'm more motivated to lose weight when ppl start commenting haha.. so by all means, help me! =) Furthermore, my self-esteem is not that low, so I'll not be that affected emotionally.. haha. (cos i always think it's my muscle mass that causes the increase in weight.. hahaha.. okie don't laugh at me now.) heehee..

Wow.. Take a look at this..

G od's
R iches
A t
C hrist's
E xpense

Jesus died for us so that we can fully experience God's goodness! We are no longer under the dominion of sins and now can fellowship with God. =) How amazing.. I feel so.. FREE!!! =)

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How it is feel to have a meal with people who slurp up their food? It's like a total turn-off. Can't they just shove their spoons a little deeper into their mouths.. the energy used is negligible compared to having to suck up the food.. I totally don't understand.

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SIAN!!!!! woken up by my brother.. This is a cruel thing a brother can do to a sister in the middle of the night.. totally frustrated. God, help me to live with him! Give me a strong and tolerant heart! Ok, actually i'm much better now. =) just that it'd be hard for me to sleep again later..

Apart from that, i had not a bad day! Gary kicked start my day by calling and waking me up, asking if i wanna go visit bimei at the hospital with him.. i blurily answered cannot.. cos i've a date with cai! at the gym.. hehehe.. Gyming can be interesting if u go with a friend. And the best part about a gym is that we are motivated to crucify our flesh due to the calory indictor and the countdown timer.. haha.. Oh ya, plus a lot of fit guys who are normally not very good looking. The gym also has a big mirror which is kind of deceiving.. this makes me like to look into it.. It also has a weighing machine, which hopefully, is inaccurate.. But well, maybe that is to compromise the deceiving mirror and bring us back to earth.. and the cruel reality. Went to cai's house after that.. wanted to watch a movie intially but her brother came back from army suddenly.. sigh. so we ended up watching what? channel 8 variety show.. haha.. and making fun of 'the red dress' HAHA.. my dad came to fetch me and ya that's more or less my day. =)

Thought of the day: Ever met someone who is too good to be true? I have!

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what a day!

Woke up early for Madagascar at 1010am! man.. That was the earliest movie i've ever watched! Went with damian.. He treated!! yay! There were only around 10 people in the theatre.. haha.. And the show was so funny and cute. Haha..

After the show i went to do my chemistry hw at jurong east library (have to catch up!).. while he went to his grandma's.. Cai joined me later.. haha we were at Cafe Galilee and we bought nothing.. then the so-called waiter came over to us and paisehly asked us to buy a drink or sth.. hahahaha.. so funny la. han na han na buy la!! HAHAha...

After that cai went to work and my dad came to fetch me.. and we went to have dinner with my bro as well.. and i tell u, eating with guys is never quite fun.. they always eat so fast. But one thing good is when sharing desserts with guys, they always allow you to have the bigger portion.. =) anyway, after dinner we went to amk cc cos my bro wanted to watch a bball match.. me n my dad went for dessert and met yeekiat! haha.. He walked past me with his back facing me and i was quite sure it was him by the way he walks but i didn't dare to shout his name (scarly wrong person) so i called his hp haha and asked him to look behind.. at first he thot i was making a prank call haha.. what'd a jurong girl do in amk? haha.. he came over and we chatted for a while.. he left and so me n my dad went to join my bro to watch the match.. it was.. very interesting. The white team comprised mainly of tall and framed guys but vice versa for the black team.. sad for them. ha.. me n my dad blacklisted No. 14 of the black team hahaha.. went home after that. =)

nice day!

Thot of the day: Nobody is perfect (ya cliche..) the near-perfect one may be just right in front of us.. if we keep ourselves busy looking for better ones.. we may not even see what has already been 'presented' to us..

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wow such an exciting weekend!!

friday

celebrated bro edmund n sis jiahui's birthdays! A lot of zone members went down specially for that and hehe.. it was supposedly meant to be a surprise.. But bro ed was sharp la.. he knew it already. haha.. It was a thrill for us to try to sneak around the auditorium.. hahaha.. but me and cai were most pro.. we were sitted at the floor area (back of A2) imagining if bro ed was to walk past us, how terrible that'd be and we actually joked about it. haha.. and the next thing we knew.. he did just that.. lol.. i was totally stunned cos we didn't expect him to walk that way.. he saw us and gei gei asked with a mischievous smile, "here for service ah?" haha. me and cai burst out laughing till i turned into a tomato haha.. apart from that little incident.. the celebration was great!! As always.. =P I think everyone in the audi diverted their attention to us.. But it's okie haha.. oh ya the gifts were superb too, with an addition of 3000 bucks. woO.. Our zone supervisor and his wife what..!! Sacrificed so much of them for us... They deserved the blessings! =)

saturday

Had an awesome time during cell group meeting! Presence of God was strong in the place till sis jinlian was so overwhelmed that it was hard to preach! solid la.. we didn't have refreshment after that cos we went to jane's house to celebrate her bday!!! =) Lots of fun, food and friends! We had a great time of fellowship and bonding! as well as video shooting and photo taking (which often take ages) haha.. me and engchang had our share of shameful acts too.. =P

sunday

Woke up early to meet my cg for breakfast.. and man.. i was finally on time! I was at the cafe waiting for the rest and decided to compose a song for Jane's departure... And so i did! and it turned out well with editions here and there from a few members.. hehe.. can't wait to sing and see her cry.. hahaha.. Service was great as usual and i think Pst Kong is amazing! Had discipleship session with sis jl and a few cg members after lunch.. I'm always looking forward to that!! It's a time to grow and learn.. to see things from the leader's point of view and to discover our blindspots.. so as to help the entire cg, as well as ourselves, to go into another level. Today's was about how to gain people's respect. So blessed by it! =) After that we, and some zone members, headed down to Gleneagles hospital to visit Bro Ed and Sis JiaHui!! She has just given birth!!! Congrats!! She seemed to be recovering real fast and baby nicole too! She was peacefully sleeping like an angel in the midst of all our 'waaahh's and 'eeehh's haha.. Bro Ed showed us video clip and pictures of the deliverance process and i was so engrossed! Cos i've nv seen sth as real as that.. haha.. Our God is a God of creation! It's marvellous what beautiful things can be formed from His hands. Including me and you! =)

Fun day! Good night! =)

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Man.. Life is just unpredictable. You'll never know what you'll know next.. You'll never know what you'll get into at a turning point.. This makes life spicy huh? That's why it's always important to include the Holy Spirit in your journey, to guide and lead you. Sometimes we take matters into our own hands assuming we can handle them.. but it's like going into a jungle without a compass.. the more you think you can nagivate your way, the deeper into the jungle u go..

*Leave it to the Master*

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wah emerge was greeeeatt!!! Presence of God was so strong!! I couldn't help but to weep each day.. touched by God. We serve a living God! A God who is so real to us just like our friends and a God who is nearer to us than our very breath. I'm so motivated now to do so much more for Him.. He only deserves the best cos He's a perfect almighty God. He can melt the hardest heart.. transform the messiest life.. and resurrect a dead dream. i'm loving Him more and more each day!!

Had the extreme adventure ytd.. man.. it was really.. extreme. We had to canoe, cycle, carry our bikes up steep slopes, more cycling, run, climb and more running.. the dragon trail was really tough.. And we had to do all these in the mid afternoon sun.. I nearly gave up halfway, my calf muscles were like saturated and i had stitches.. but i couldn't.. that was a pair-work.. the least i must do was to try my best and finish the race.. and so we did and came in 4th.. the top 3 were simply awesome and deserved to win. But i feel, at the end of the day, all who completed the race were winners who fought and overcame the psychological battle up there.

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Went to the gym again!! haha.. with alice and cai.. best buds! Very satisfying workouts hahaha.. Training for the extreme adventure this thursday.. *inhales deeply* can't wait for emerge tmr!!!! It's finally coming!!! and YAY!!! i'll be singing in the choir!! all 3 days! hahaha.. so excitinggg... =)

Anyway, i was reading this book "Know Why You Believe" borrowed from Alice.. it was so captivating la.. i read till 3.30 in the morning.. and of cos i have my "the Ultimate Secret Garden" to keep me company.. =) the book is really good.. my faith is renewed + increased. It tells us about God and why do we believe in Him..

How do i know the God and Jesus Christ of the bible is true??

-objective (external factors: historical facts)

-subjective (personal experiences with God)

And who created God?

-the cause and effect law (why is the letter in yr mailbox? cos the postman put it in)

-God being eternal, is not an effect and thus doesn't require a cause.

So power right.. i'm beginning to have back my child-like faith.. =)

k la have to rest early tonight to prepare for the action-pact tmr! hahaha..

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ah, gym was fun!!! Especially when we were trying to figure out how to use the equipments.. hahaha. this was the first time we went to a 'real' gym la.. i didn't know that it's compulsory to bring a towel! hahaha.. it was fun la =) after that we went to eat and gained back those calories haha.. okie la have to get ready for prayer meeting now.. at redhill! its gonna be goOd~ =)

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ah laaa... my bro went to restart the com ytd.. so my entrty was erased.. anyway, to sum up, i went for a hair cut at 'shirleen mah' not bad.. first time being cut by a guy haha.. and it was cheap also la.. much better than the previous one at JP.. beside value shop (highly not recommanded) haha.. I blessed myself with a cd too! =) Sth i wanted but was in a tight budget.. saw it at MJ for 15.90!! of cos grab la.. Sembawang selling for 19.90.. HMV ard that price also.. pro-MJ! haha.. the cd is called "the ultimate secret garden".. very very nice.. best played in a garden.. hahaha.. anyway i have ripped it into my com so i'll be putting up some as my blog song.. =)

Met zhan peng just now to pass him my gp work.. So kind of him to want to hand up for this lazy bum.. haha.. He woke me up la.. and i have to pia my last part.. nice start to my day. haha.. have to go now.. meeting alice for gym! haha..

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haha.. i went shopping this afternoon with diana. =) bought nothing in the end except a small round cake for my dad.. hahaha.. so funny la. he picked me up at orchard and we went to dine at the revolving resturant.. He said that brought him back a lot of memories that was why he chose that place... I was so young the last time i went.. but the same small fish aquarium was still there right at the door step.. and the lift.. and almost everything else. It was like walking back in history.. I remembered being so fascinated by the 'turning'.. haha. Anyway, we had quite a sumptuous dinner.. all ordered by my dad.. haha.. birthday boy what.. haha, before looking at the bill he told us sth like "i pay 200, if there's extra, split between both of u.." haha, it turned out to be 134 plus so each of us got 30 bucks! YAY! =) He gave me 40 cos previously i answered correctly a question he asked.. hehehehe.. which is very lame la..

Him: "If you guess the name of that building, u get 10 dollars"

Me: "great world city"
hahaha.. oh ya the cake! Tragic ending la. i brought all the way home and put in my fridge cos the chocolate is melting la. i tried to hide it in the fridge behind my fresh milk.. Nice try........ He found out.. and took it out.. lol.. sounded quite surprised but i think he somehow knew it la.. lol.. he thanked me and i asked him to light the candle.. lol.. he lighted and held the cake.. after that he switched off the lights himself.. then i asked him to make a wish.. he was like standing there holding the cake and wishing.. LOL~ so funny la!! cos only can see his face.. lol.. after he was done, he on the lights and cut the cake.. lOL.. it's like.. celebrating for himself with himself la.. LOL.. cos my bro was sleeping and i was at my com.. lol.. anyway, nice day la. =)

J.Lo in "Monster in law" : "Life is too short to live the same day twice."

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It's my dad's bday today.. HOW!!! haven't gotten him anything... have been busy.. howhowhow.. Get him a shirt? or a cake with 5 candles (he's half a century young)? but that's so .. blase? ah! buy him a big balloon which writes 'happy birthday!!!'? haha.. that's really something for a big guy. kk i shall go toys'r'us later.. hmmm what else.......... a bright polo tee? lol.. too much for him la.. or...... a spa voucher? for a guy? gd idea! then he will want me to go with him and he'll pay for me! tie! OR WHAT........ sigh. generation gap.. he's bringing us to this resturant which revolves and he wants to reach by 630 to watch the sunset.... so i must get the stuff before that!!!! HOW! the least i can do is.. to buy a cake, shirt and a balloon which i will make sure he carries to the resturant hahahaha.. evil.. this is only a mild sabotage la.. afraid his heart can't take it haha.. okie la settled. gdnite.

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My dad saved me from boredom today! THANK YOU! Holiday is not that nice actually.. esp when almost all your friends are still schooling.. Zz.. anyway, i slept thru the late afternoon till 7 when he called to ask me to go Robinson with him. We had dinner first at some ulu place in orchard only to find that most shops were closed by the time we were done.. haha.. so we went to cineleisure to watch 'monster in law' haha.. funny show.. But major turn off was when zhanpeng smsed me in the middle of the show, not once but twice, to ask about nothing else but chem.. man.. give me a break. Had an ice cream after the show (cannot reject my father's offer la haha) and then we went to newton circles.. Share a bowl of dessert with him and bought some food for my bro.. yup that's it. ~the end~ With my father, it's always about foOd. =)

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Wah. wrong words keep coming out of me nowadays.. GP lesson today was most evident.. when sally chua asked me to give the name of the person who gave the quote, i said "er.. Gandhi." She intepreted it as "a Gandhi".. It was funny la. After that she wanted me to give her the quote and i gave the explanation of the quote instead.. and after that she wanted the class to give her some quotes.. and i said "You are who you eat."... GOSH......... HAHAHA.. And i thot to myself: Okie I better not talk anymore.. heh. =)

YAY today's the last day of school!!! Not that school's really bad but i wanna be my crazy self once again and let loooose... Back to the good old days of beaching and chilling out.. WOo.. But in jc, a holiday is never really a holiday... it's just a nicer term for 'you better catch up now than be sorry'.. there is a saying 'once bitten, twice shy.' (sally chua must be rather proud of me now.. haha) I must clear all my doubts and hw by the 3rd week! this is my aim for the holiday.. =)

Oh ya, my partner smsed me and told me that we got into the finals for Extreme Adventure! YAy. Part of me was thrilled as our effort during the very challenging preliminary round was paid off. She was good, she literally dragged and pulled me along.. But part of me was lackadaisical.. During the prelim round i was so pressurized by her.. her overwhelming determination intimidated me.. so i tried.. i tried more than i could.. and i was amazed by my own performance at the end of the race.. it was a personal record for me.. and i was glad my partner thot i did well too though i delayed our timing.. But whatever it is, 9th June is gonna be my trying day. Jia you!

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I tried

I really did

Maybe it was just not enough

But I will

I really will...

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I am a fighter

I must be strong

In a warfare

Against myself

I will fall

I must stand up

Finsh the race

I have started

A conqueror

I must persevere

Rough road

Move on

The LORD is my light and my salvation;

Whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the strength of my life;

Of whom shall I be afraid?

Psalm 27:1

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wah this week. Super impactful + transforming.. I've learnt so so much from Pst Phil..

One thing is: So often we may hear the voices of our circumstances, "No you can't do it." "You failed before, rememberrrr?", instead of God's voice, "You can do all things thru Christ who strengthens you." "Nothing is impossible with Me." " You are the head and not the tail.."

God is committed to bringing us to the other side of the rough river.. So long as we are willing to stay in the boat with God. Yes, sometimes u may feel like you're falling off the boat cos of the strong currents.. But God says just hang on tight and trust in Me, for I am with you.

For every bad situation, there will be a 'but God!..' Financial difficulty? But God will provide. Sick? But God will heal. Discouraged? But God will lift u up.

Let's have a but-God attitude! =)

Now thanks be to God who always leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place

2 corinthians 2:14

My flesh and my heart fail;

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalms 73:26

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just came back from the girls' 'A' Division volleyball match finals at toa payoh stadium.. it was a match well played by both JJ and NYJ whereby i was kept captivated thruout.. initially JJ was at the losing end but the girls fought on with such determination and resilience.. and eventually emerging as the CHAMPIONS for 'A' Division! I'm so proud of them! =) Even though i'm not in the vball team now but a part of me still stays and for a moment i wished i didn't quit.. but then again i don't mind sacrificing a small thing for even bigger things ahead.. The whole of J1 was required/forced to go and support the girls, which i thot was ridiculous at first.. we even had to miss some lessons for that.. but when we reached the stadium, there was an aura of excitment and anticipation that just stirred us up.. I was in the crowd cheering my vocal cord out haha.. oh ya, and one thing i don like-SORE LOSERS. I think these are people who can't rejoice at people's achievements and who can't learn the sweet hidden lessons of defection.

*you can run away, but you can't hide*

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I'm beginning to enjoy school now and i think it has a different kind of fun to it. Sounds so not me.. but i wanna thank God for changing my attitude towards studying. I've nv been so hardworking in my attire short 18 yrs.. this goes to show that miracles do happen! =) Nothing much to talk about cos i'm only focusing on my studies now.. and how interesting can that get.. haha.

I think attitude is the most fundamental element for a transformation.. pst kong said this before "your life changes when you mind changes." Walking into the 'pressure cooker' isn't the most pleasurable thing to do but once you begin to squeeze out some positive thoughts about it, everything will seem to be much better.. I think it's the same for all aspects of life. You will go thru hell at any one point in time, so why not make the best out of it? =)

*standing on God's promises*

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Solid weekend service. I invited my dad to go for service with me and WOW he was SO impacted. Praise the Lord! Throughout the whole service, i kept praying for him that he'd open up his heart and receive the word. and thank God, he did and was very very transformed. He fellowshipped with my cg members and joined us for lunch. I think he's a different kind of 'new friend' whereby he 'entertained' the members.. cool with that.. but eng chang complained my pa asked him 'How are you?' thrice.. HAHAHA..

Gary and him talked a lot. I don't really know what they said.. but it looked important.. so i willingly let him 'kidnapped' my dad to somewhere else to talk.. think my pa was sharing some problems with him la.. going thru hell now. But praise the Lord, God is now the strength of my pa's heart and i believe he will walk thru hell very cooly and emerge even stronger. God is so solid.

I reached home at ard 11 plus after fellowshipping with some of my members at bugis (N256 can nv get tired of fellowshipping!!!).. and pa told me he nearly collapsed when he heard a news.. i was like "HUH?! what could possibly happen..." then he told me, if he was to bet 420 on a game.. he would have won 17000 tonight. that's a lot of money i know.. but i didn't feel a slightest of tui-ness becos i knew that that was just one of the devil's tactic to draw him away from God.. so i encouraged him and told him that this was just the devil's work to take control over him now that he's on God's side.. and that greater things will come his way. Yes, the devil may offer you instant solutions, but on the long run, the devil will gouged out something more out of your pathetic life. And yes, 17000 is a HUGE sum to our family now, but whatever is from the devil, i will not want. Imagine giving 1,700 of tithe to God that which comes from the devil? I'd rather u don give. Our God is a holy God who deserves a sacrificial offering from us. Like David, I will not offer to God that which cost me nothing.

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Super solid! Have been walking under opened heavens recently..

Yesterday was supposedly another mundane day until da ren called at 530 and told me he had a free ticket to a orchestra concert at the esplanade.. Of cos, my adrenaline surged from 0 (i was tackling my chemistry tutorial in sch..) to 10. I couldn't contain my exhilaration! That was simply a novelty of surprise in an otherwise sian day. Concert started at 7:30 so i had to chiong home and change.

It was my first time being inside the Esplanade theatre and of cos i was thrilled. While soaking myself in the waves of sounds, i was brought back to the days when i was in the chinese orchestra playing the cello.. The sequence they went on and off stage was the same.. Anyway, even though the violins played the main melody, i was mesmerized by the cellists.. I particularly like the sound of the cellos.. it's smoothing and gentle even when playing staccato. I think it also neutralises the shrieking sounds eluded from the violins.. oKie, maybe i'm biased. haha.. the flute is nice too. sweet and clear sounds. Best played in gardens with birds' chirps as background music. hehe.. Oh ya, there was a piano soloist too.. he was so professional! (duh..)and suave.. He had 3 encores. During one, he played "'The Swan' from carnival of the Animals"
which i have the simplified version of it.. and of cos my heart leaped when i heard him play that.. i think most people can play music if they are being taught the skill of playing the instruments but what makes good music? when it's produced by your soul.. plain music is distasteful i feel. The melody can be simple but when it's played by your soul, it can be nicer than a chim piece played without emotions.

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Sigh. another earthquake hit indonesia again.. with 8.7 on the richter scale and epicentre near nias island. it's like.. the people haven't even gotten over the previous disaster and now another one came their way.. the suppressed trauma lying in the recesses of their minds emerged again even though it was not as disastrous as the previous.. i smsed my medan friend and he told me they were "so.. so shocked" as they could feel the vigorous shake.. but thank God nothing terrible happened. Some parts of Singapore felt the tremble too despite our good geographical location, that goes to show that we shouldn't take that for granted.. I think our far-sighted and reliable govt should prepare the people for such unpredictable circumstances.. what if the epicentre was to be near our concrete jungle singapore... (deliberately left hanging)

The God of my strength, in whom I will trust;

My shield and the horn of my salvation,

My stronghold and my refuge;

My Savior, You save me from violence.

2 Samuel 22:3

Human relationship can be SO complicated. It's like the more you try to spin the web, the more you'll end up suffocating yrself.. Can i just take and give whatever comes my way? I feel that if you try too hard, you'll end up losing everything altogether.. but then again, how hard is hard? Sometimes you have to draw a line and set a boundary btw 2 persons, but what if the line is scratched too deep and a gap is formed eventually? Is that better than having your personal space intruded? I'm standing strong on the vow i've made. If a gap is to be formed, I'm all for that. "But what about the pleasant moments you had?" They will all be memories of a journey i once trekked on.. Nothing to mourn over..

We can get tempted sometimes because we're sexual creatures.. Nothing wrong with that. But if you continue to dwell in the temptation, then it's very wrong i think. I always believe that if someone is for you then he will be (maybe i'm wrong), if not then "too bad, so sad, move on"..

I think i've swerved from God's path by not obeying Him, and now i wanna navigate back asap..

It feels good to break away from the bondage that hinders your relationship with God. God's love is pure and no other sources are better...

And right now i'm reminded of this song:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus

Look deep in His wonderful face

And the things of the world

Will go strangely dim

At the light of His glory and grace

What beautiful lyrics that is..

*Everything has its time and season*

Oh, i realise this entry doesn't have a 'haha'... when aileen is serious, she can be really serious. =)

Had a fun day chilling out with gary.. he wanted to buy a keyboard so he asked me along, but i didn't provide significant assistent cos i know nuts about keyboards.. they all look the same to me.. Haha.. and just when we finally decided on one of those shortlisted, there wasn't any more stock. Sian ji bua liao... I know how he felt la. When I started learning piano, my parents hadn't bought me a piano yet. I told my teacher and she was kind of amused and she gave me this paper keyboard which i practised on. If you can visualize 'playing' on it, it can be very self-entertaining laughing at the thot of it.. well.. it just goes to show how desperate i was. Heh.

We went to esplanade, passing by a few chocolatiers screaming for my attention. If it wasn't for the buyer-unfriendly price, i would have bought a few. To remain optimistic, that was a blessing in disguise (temperory only heh..). We then trod on to the Baker's Inn at One Fullerton which was a neat and serene place perfect for lazing the hours away.. It was the 'dessert' portion in the menu once you open it.. good business tactic.. We ordered a waffle with a scope of cheese ice cream sitting on it and strawberry sauce capped on. It was sooooo deliciouss.. and unresistable. The only thing was.. the portion was so small for 2! (where got enough for me?) I took my time to savour the last cube of waffle which was gone before i was satisfied. Haha.. DON'T CARE! i must go again!! =) Provided i feel rich.. It cost 10.90! *ouch*But worth it.. =) we ordered a jar of camomile tea too.. which made me sleepy after drinking.. maybe i should stick to jasmine green tea haha.. boring right me? =P Talking about food gets me kind of excited haha.. cannot like laaa.. haha.. right?

Has been spending my past 2 days at home.. no lessons right now that's why. I spent my entire yesterday reading like crazy. Finished Adeline Yen Mah's "Chinese Cinderella".. Touching book but didn't manage to make me teared.. Normally i would, when reading about tragic histories of people.. Haha.. I don't mind staying at home, just give me books and more books.. HEhe.. sound so geeky.

(A talk that goes nowhere..)

Sometimes i wish i was born a nerd. Then i don't have to try so hard to want to study. Sigh..

But then again, sometimes i wish i am not. Cos i don't like nerdy people.. oops..

All they know is study study and study.. As if their whole life depend on a cert.

Sometimes i feel like jerking them up and poke their bubble.. And shout to them that there's a more exciting life out there..

But on the other hand, I dont' think they even bother to bother about that..

Aiya, why do i even bother to bother about this..

Some students are just freakily smart. I know i'm not at that standard so i just wanna be an Aileen i never knew i can be this yr. Kind of anticipating.. but why can't proper lessons start sooner.. zz..

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woo. It's been such a long time since i last wrote. So much happened that i donno where to begin. Anyways, I was telling bro jeff how the past 2 weeks have been my most fulfilling weeks serving God in a new way and experiencing Him with a fresh touch. God healed me too during my quiet time with Him. Twice. And instantly. How amazing.

Had a zone game last sunday. It was as fun and creative as always. The best part was how it beings our zone to the next level each time. But one thing different was, our cg emerged this time round!! YAy! We were all thrilled and were beaming with exuberance.. We won for ourselves a hamper full of food! =) Actually our cg was split into 2 teams, with one team topped and the other as the 1st runner-up. But at the end of the day, it seemed like all of us won anyway. But it didn't really matter, it was the process of learning to work with people and strengthening the bonds that was impt. Our team encounted a few defeats in various stations but our spirits were lifted up with encouragement from each other and we faced the challenges of the next station with new confidence. No one blamed anyone because in a team, everyone needs everyone. Ah, there's power in unity.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 15:5-6

Have you ever wondered how you could be in heaven for a moment and hell the next?

Have you ever winced at the recollection of something you did or said?

Have you ever wished that your crush at least paid a little bit more attention on you?

Have you ever wanted something so badly, it drove you crazy?

Have you ever waited on a promise which did not come to past?

Have you ever walked right into someone's heart?

Have you ever won a battle you've fought so hard for?

Hmmm i have. And am grateful for all the experiences i've been through. But i can't just turn back and smile at them, my journey is still long and it's filled with so many more "Have-you-ever"s. Right now i will just keep walking in the path of God and hope that there will be less negative "Have-you-ever"s.. =)

And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
2 Corinthians 3:18

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Today! we got back our AO chinese results!! 04S4 reunited once again in room 111 with beloved Goh Eng Heah. She tried to be friendly with us but apparently none of us was interested LOL.. Anyway, before the results were given out.. the atmosphere started to tense up gradually.. I was filled with anticipation to know how i fared but yet, part of me didn't have the courage to cope with my emotions if it was to turn out below my already low expectation.. have to admit la, chinese is not my piece of cake. I only hoped to pass and get over and done with it. Which means NO MORE CHINESE for as long as i live!! YAY! okie.. So we were sitting as the names were being called to receive the result slips.. Seriously, i bet none of us ever like to be kept in suspense for such things.. Anyway, as more people took their result slips, an array of expressions were displayed. Finally my lovely chinese name was called, i took a deep breath and went up.. GEH handed me my slip. I took a glance and went estatic. I got a C6!!! lol.. Ya it's not a very colourful result, but the thot of me passing and never to take chinese papers ever, sent me right up to the moon. HAhhaa.. I went 'Heeeee!!!' and did some stupid acts.. lol.. and my class laughed. Oh well. can't contain the excitement of not taking any more chinese. HAhahaa.. Biggest joy. =)

Today, we also witnessed on 'live telecast' how our seniors received their results in the hall.. Gosh. If the tension in the classroom was bad.. the hall's was 10 times badder.. there was a permanent worried look on some (like you-know-who from s4) and prior receiving, the principal showed the statistics of passes.. Overall the '03 cohort did better than last yr and there is a general improvement. General advice from the seniors for us is to work hard. Yup! so i wanna start now! and i started just now with diana.. we studied till 1030 hehehe.. must start to stretch myself liao.. hehe..

*counting on God's strength i move forth*

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Ever had someone gossiped about u? Sickening right? Even though it didn't happen to me but i can still feel for the person.. Words are like double-edged sword which can pierce right through your heart. They say 'sticks and stones can hurt me, but words can nv hurt me." i think they're uttering rubbish. Words are powerful. They can lift you up to heaven or smash you flat on the ground. But one thing the gossipers don't know - the truth will eventually come to light. It's like trying to suppress a ball under water, it doesn't take a genius to know that it's only a matter of time before the ball emerges to the surface. So let's see who has the last laugh. Heh.

Recently i've been spending a lot of time with my dad and we did crazy things together. It's the crazy things that make life more interesting he said. Anytime! When i'm older and richer i'd want to do crazy things too. we went for a jog at bedok reservoir 2 days ago at 11 plus at night. There was a big playground so we went up and interupted a couple doing their stuff haha.. after that we went to eat at newton circles. So happening right? lOl...

For You are great, and do wondrous things; You alone are God.
Teach me Your way, O LORD; I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.
I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And I will glorify Your name forevermore.
Psalm 86:10-12